The Chicken Lobster

Did you know that a female lobster is called a chicken or a hen? I find this interesting--but not surprising, in fact I might say. As the night fast approaches (well, not that fast...it's only 10 am right now) I was contemplating my options for this evenings festivities. Bowling with friends or the "Rail" for gay night? Of course both have their strong points and their drawbacks. Let us weigh the options. Bowling is fun, the couple(s) we are planning on going with are great, you can buy pitchers of beer and drink them at your lane and it is relatively safe--well, with the exception of that time I accidentally let go of the ball at it's pinnacle of height in the backward position and it almost landed on Ryan's foot. Mostly safe, lets call it mostly safe. The draw backs however include (but are not limited too) the wait time-which essentially could be filled with drinking and air hockey (I live for air hockey) so maybe that one is not really a drawback. Also, lots of annoying people with their annoying children doing those annoying things children do, big draw back. 3 out 5 stars on the people watching.
Now let's examine gay night at the "Rail". First of all, this option is probably 5 out of 5 stars on the people watching. If it's anything like what I've seen on TV their will be lots of hot gay dudes with most of their clothes off or wearing clothes that are not really clothes at all but things resembling loin cloths made of spandex and mesh. Next, the booze are usually great and the music is off the hizzy--fo shizzy. Not to mention gay guys are all around great to party with. Now, the draw backs. I am not gay. Ryan is not gay. Quite possibly, none of the people going tonight are gay. That's about the only drawback I can come up with. In fact that might not even be a drawback. If we aren't gay we aren't going to have those pesky drunk guys hitting on us. Also, no one will be putting GHB in my drink--that'll be nice--big plus in my book (yes, that has actually happened before).
So, after careful consideration, I feel I am leaning slightly towards gay night but I know Ryan is leaning toward bowling (surprise--NOT). I guess after dinner tonight we'll need to make a decision. Well--as some of my favorite in-laws might say "We'll have to just wait and see" or maybe even "It's up to us" or my all time favorite "What're you gonna do?"
Now back to the lobsters. When I first started thinking about going to gay night I found myself asking why don't I have a big group of girlfriends I can do these things with? The first thing that popped into my head, the most obvious of course, was that there is no one I would prefer to spend time with then Ryan. He is the ultimate playmate. And, the reality is that I DO have girlfriends, lots of them, just none that I party with in large groups--and none that I hang with without Ryan. Next, I thought about the lobsters. I remembered a story I once heard about female lobsters and then it came to me, the real reason I don't party with girls.

Here's the story:

When a chef is cooking a pot of male lobsters it is essential he put the lid on the pot because as soon as the male lobsters realize they are in danger they start forming ladders to help each other climb out of the pot. However, when a chef is cooking female lobsters a lid is not necessary. The female lobsters, sensing their own impending doom, start grabbing each other and holding each other down. None of the females want to let any of the others get out of the pot. It's almost as if they are saying "If I'm gonna die, your gonna die too bitch".
This story always rings true for me. In fact, I would be hard pressed to find a girl who hasn't felt the claw of the chicken lobster at the back of her neck at least once. Maybe that's why I gravitate towards cocks--oh BTW, that's what you call a male lobster.